While We Were Sleeping...

What a fucked up year. Well congratulations to Alabama on winning the SEC championship. A shit load of meth induced pregnancies went down that night. A whole new generation to keep the Tide rolling. But if they lose to Texas, they will never hear the end of it from me.

Let's see what else...holy shit.

1) Not one SEC coach got fired this year? No wait, Urban Meyer just quit. No wait, he just changed his mind. Man, it sure can be hazardous on your health making four million a year to coach football. Tell that to homeless people, you arrogant asshole.
2) Tebow cried again. Just remember Ole Miss did it first. Good luck at the Sugar Bowl, Cincinnati Bearcats. You are gonna need it.
3) Some Tennessee players got arrested for robbery this year. Glad to see some things never change.
4) Has anyone heard from Jevan Snead?
5) Greg McElroy has to be the most arrogant hand the ball off quarterback in the history of college football. He looks Rick Astley. "Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down..."
6) Mark Richt's chair is hot as hell...
7) Auburn cooled off like I thought they would, but I think Gene may be on to something. Their recruiting is under the radar right now but they are getting some solid prospects.
8) Has anyone heard from Jevan Snead?
9) Les Miles's chair is one foot from falling into a volcano. They get mad when they run out of corndogs in Baton Rouge.
10) Did you hear about Vanderbilt? No, me either...

Hope everyone had a good Christmas. Sorry we have been away. We will do better in 2010.

-Steve

How I feel about alabammer

I sure don't hate them, but I do pity them. The entire school has short man's syndrome; constantly feeling the need to artificially inflate every facet of their college, from their academics to the their football MNCs. Their fan base is made up of a large portion of losers whose sense of self-worth rests on what their football team accomplishes, rather than what they accomplish themselves. Hallelujah. Holy shit...where's the tylenol?

Tide Coaching Staff to Open Up the Offense!

Coaching staff got together to discuss the explosive aerial attack coming the SEC's way. "See, Coach, all we have do is process the process and it will work itself out." Hell, even Coach Saban (second to left) has to laugh at that shit...


Well now I'm just shit defyingly scared. After three years of getting pasted by John Parker Spencer Pennington, the rest of the SEC now has to deal with best quarterback Bama has yet to offer.... Greg McElroy. Ok. What about Star Jackson? Hell I still laugh when one of my Tider buddies tried to tell me that Nick Fanuzzi was a four-star recruit out of Texas. Where the hell is he anyway? I remember when Andrew Zow and Tyler Watts spelled Joe Namath and Bart Starr. But who cares right, because A.J. McCarron is really going to be the one, dadgummit!

More like goddammit...I feel sorry for people that actually went to Alabama.
-Steve

Who The Hell Did Not Vote For Tebow?

Does Spurrier want to go to hell? Hath he no faith?

Oh my god if I have to hear one more time about Timothy not being a unanimous preseason pick for 1st team QB I am going to go door to door and slap Baptists. Chill, the fuck out. It's preseason awards...preseason. And if Superman Tim Tebow is a virgin, I am from city of Gotham and dress up like a bat at night and kick the shit out of guys dressed like clowns.

F.Y.I.- Did you know several people diagnosed with cancer were miraculously cured the day the Weebals defeated the Alligator Shoes? Guess the stories of Tebow's tears are true....

Pro Wrestling Manager of the Month

Folks, if you are gonna run a successful wrestling program then you have to have sterotypes. Now, Slick here managed two guys named Akeem and The Big Boss Man, two guys when not collecting money from Slick's whores would wrestle on the side. Benjamins come first. He dressed nice and business like and his catchphrase was " Turn out the lights, the party's over..." I like Slick. That is why he is our first inductee in the Pro Wrestling Manager of the Month.

-Steve

Stupid Crackheads

So, my girlfriends car was broken into yesterday. Hope those cats enjoy all that makeup and the curling iron that they stole. Im sure that is gonna sell for alot at the pawn shop. Really, get a job. Or actually steal something that is valuable. Good haul guys. Seriously though, if you come back in my yard, Im gonna mess you up.

Love,
Trey

When Crackheads Win

Look at the moves at the end of this video...word on the street is that Lane Kiffin is looking at this guy in his 2010 recruiting class...




--Heath

Them Grizzlies Looking Good Next Year

Let me get this straight... Derrick Rose is gonna continue to make millions in the NBA and John Caliapari will probably win a National Championship at Kentucky while a bunch of kids at Memphis who had nothing to with this shit will have to go on probation? What the Reggie Fucking Bush League kinda shit is that? I have always had a fondness for Tiger hoops but damn this is gonna hurt that program...effin' bad. And Johnny P. just conveniently left this year and Rose was a one and done? NCAA ...gotta love 'em.

SEC FOOTBALL FANS

Good to see that the Starkville Police Department are making the campus a safer place. That's good because MTV was thinking hard and long about making G's to Gents about the Mississippi State football team....

And with the Number 1 selection....

I find it ironic that Chubby goes number one overall the same weekend they are racing in Talladega. It's fairly common knowledge in the south about his spoon trip with Joe Cox a couple of years ago to the Big Race in 'Bama. Wonder if he would rather be there than in New York City? I'm sure they have a few keggers in the Big Apple every now and then. I personally think he will do well in the pros, but if he plays any this season he better get ready to run for his life while taking snaps for the shitard Detroit Lions.

"Blow the whistle! Blow the whistle!" - Popke, from Necessary Roughness

Alabama Spring Game

ESPN has decided to air the Tide spring game. Uh...why? Ole Miss has their game today too, but I'm not gonna watch it. Uh...why? Because it don't mean shit! People these are glorified practices. Practices! If you truly think these games are a preview of what your team is going to this season then you are truly mentally retarded. "Oh man, you remember when Andrew Zow threw them three touchdown passes against the Crimson team that spring?" Lord....

Other than the Paul Finebaum circle jerk, the free textbook mad dash, and Terrance Cody eating a live human being the Tider Nation has some good ol' mud riding on the Quad this year.....