Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Joes Are Branching Out!



The shit is starting to clog up in Tuscaloosa so bad we have had to open up an office up there. Naturally, Heath is the one going up there because he honestly believes a million dollars is stashed inside Harry's Bar from the fifties before the Klan got pushed out in them neck of the woods. Leaving Mobile for Tuscaloosa is like breaking up with a hottie to take a ride on a fattie. Hey fat women need loving too.....

I'm gonna miss not having my buddy around town but due to the miracle of cell phones and these here internets we gonna be just fine around here. Only damn thing is I have to go up there every now and then during non-football season. Shit.

Safe trip, Heath. Tell the fucking "Bahr" I said hello.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Chamber of Commerce Releases Video about life in Oxford

Ok, Ok...so maybe its not QUITE what its about, but hey...Steve had his Tuscaloosa fun and its my time to shine bitches!

--Heath

Friday, January 9, 2009

Houston Nutt is Peter Quagmire

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Ok, so most of the posts here lately have been by our Hotty Toddy loving Weebal Steve. Congratulations Rebels on beating Florida this year. Hell, one of your esteemed Rebel journalists even believes that Ole Miss should win the national championship. Thanks for that laugh. If we go by that line of thinking let's play 6 degrees of seperation. Ole Miss lost to Wake Forest, who lost to Maryland, who lost to Middle Tennessee State, who lost to Lousiana Lafayette. who lost to Kansas State, who lost to Oklahoma, who lost to...wait...Florida. Damn, I guess the system got it right after all. Now i know that all is excited in Oxford. After all, John Grisham has a new book coming out, and Houston Nutt is taking the Rebels to the promised land. Yeah, ok. Wake me up when they let Colonel Reb back in his own stadium. See you in 2009 bitch. Until then, please enjoy this wonderful tune by a proud Ole Miss fan. "W-I-N that's how we spell FUN!!!!"
--Heath

Monday, January 5, 2009

Bible Thumpers Smite Meth Cookers


Hell this skank got off easy.  Heath threw the chair this time...right into his neighbor's back yard. Then he form-tackled his 150 pound grill.  It was the best tackle of the entire game I tell you.  What I'm trying to figure out is why everyone is so surprised about this ass-whipping.  I know I can be just as blind as the next guy when it comes to SEC football, but people, Utah was not ranked number six going into this game just for the sheer hell of it.  Mormons can run, people.  They have to because of 'Necks like me that throw shit at them when they knock on my trailer.

Other than the meth-induced  hottie pictured above there have been no domestic dispute reports resulting from the game.  Of course if they know whats good for them they will keep their mouth shut.


-Steve

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Weebals Win!!!


There ya go, Mr. Tool. I looked up from doing my janitorial duties here at my trailer park and saw the score. And I thought all I had to look forward to was shit stuck in the toilet. I might need to go to Dallas and mop up all the tears those two honky ass white boy linemen cried all over the field at the end of the game. Bitches...

                                                  photo courtesy of RedSoloCup.com