Ignorance is not always Bliss...

Who would have thought Al Davis and the Oakland Raiders would come off looking better for letting Lane Kiffin go?

Well the new coach in orange is off to an awesome start by rallying some alumni and claiming Florida broke an NCAA rule by contacting a recruit while on a visit to Knoxville. Uh....no. Now I know he is new on the scene in the SEC but how do you not know that rule? Isn't "Shrimp Boat Captain" Ed Orgeron on his staff? Because last time I checked that sonnuva bitch knows a thing or two about recruiting (hell, as much as it pains me to say, look at the talent he brought in at Ole Miss). Then again, that is the kind of shit Coach O would say, so you have to wonder already... just who is in charge in Knoxville?

But the most damaging thing is they might have shot themselves in the foot. I guess he is not aware that Urban Meyer channels the Spirit of Spurrier and will drop sixty on your ass without thinking twice about it. And i guess he is not aware that Tebow decided to stick around for another year. This shit talking is the equivalent of a hound dog going down to the water and barking like a retarded ass at an alligator minding it's own business and not hurting anyone. Well the dog keeps on fucking with the gator to the point it has enough and shoots out of the water and snatches the bastard and drags his ass to his death.

I'm no fan of either one of these teams, but on September 19th, I don't care if Florida is favored by thirty I will still put my money on Florida. Jorts 52 Hillbillies 10.

-Steve

The Joes Are Branching Out!

The shit is starting to clog up in Tuscaloosa so bad we have had to open up an office up there. Naturally, Heath is the one going up there because he honestly believes a million dollars is stashed inside Harry's Bar from the fifties before the Klan got pushed out in them neck of the woods. Leaving Mobile for Tuscaloosa is like breaking up with a hottie to take a ride on a fattie. Hey fat women need loving too.....

I'm gonna miss not having my buddy around town but due to the miracle of cell phones and these here internets we gonna be just fine around here. Only damn thing is I have to go up there every now and then during non-football season. Shit.

Safe trip, Heath. Tell the fucking "Bahr" I said hello.

Chamber of Commerce Releases Video about life in Oxford

Ok, Ok...so maybe its not QUITE what its about, but hey...Steve had his Tuscaloosa fun and its my time to shine bitches!

--Heath

Houston Nutt is Peter Quagmire

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Ok, so most of the posts here lately have been by our Hotty Toddy loving Weebal Steve. Congratulations Rebels on beating Florida this year. Hell, one of your esteemed Rebel journalists even believes that Ole Miss should win the national championship. Thanks for that laugh. If we go by that line of thinking let's play 6 degrees of seperation. Ole Miss lost to Wake Forest, who lost to Maryland, who lost to Middle Tennessee State, who lost to Lousiana Lafayette. who lost to Kansas State, who lost to Oklahoma, who lost to...wait...Florida. Damn, I guess the system got it right after all. Now i know that all is excited in Oxford. After all, John Grisham has a new book coming out, and Houston Nutt is taking the Rebels to the promised land. Yeah, ok. Wake me up when they let Colonel Reb back in his own stadium. See you in 2009 bitch. Until then, please enjoy this wonderful tune by a proud Ole Miss fan. "W-I-N that's how we spell FUN!!!!"
--Heath

Bible Thumpers Smite Meth Cookers

Hell this skank got off easy.  Heath threw the chair this time...right into his neighbor's back yard. Then he form-tackled his 150 pound grill.  It was the best tackle of the entire game I tell you.  What I'm trying to figure out is why everyone is so surprised about this ass-whipping.  I know I can be just as blind as the next guy when it comes to SEC football, but people, Utah was not ranked number six going into this game just for the sheer hell of it.  Mormons can run, people.  They have to because of 'Necks like me that throw shit at them when they knock on my trailer.

Other than the meth-induced  hottie pictured above there have been no domestic dispute reports resulting from the game.  Of course if they know whats good for them they will keep their mouth shut.

-Steve

Weebals Win!!!

There ya go, Mr. Tool. I looked up from doing my janitorial duties here at my trailer park and saw the score. And I thought all I had to look forward to was shit stuck in the toilet. I might need to go to Dallas and mop up all the tears those two honky ass white boy linemen cried all over the field at the end of the game. Bitches...

                                                  photo courtesy of RedSoloCup.com

If This is a Dream...Don't Wake Me Up

Once upon a time there was a magical forest where one of the greatest towns on the planet was inhabited by beautiful women, good bourbon, and Ole Miss football.  Times were not always perfect in the town of Oxford, but then again, where is?  But one day the athletic director and board of trustees smoked crack until five in the morning and gave the keys to the football program to a mean Ogre who was a shrimp boat captain from Louisiana. He came and burned the program to the ground while singing, "Yaw, Yaw, Yaw" at the top of his lungs and blowing a 14-0 lead in the fourth quarter to the evil school to east that worships cows and the bells which they ring.  All was lost in Oxford, even though the Ogre was long gone.

But one day, the athletic director and board of trustees came to the realization they were abusing narcotics and said to themselves, "What have we done?"  They knew they must find redemption for themselves and the town of Oxford.  On Christmas they were visited by the three spirits of Ole Miss: Colonel Rebel, Coach Johnny Vaught and Archie Manning. To the group did the three say, "Get your fucking head out of your ass and open your damn wallet!  Hire a coach who knows a shit or two about football!"

To the west, in a state called Arkansas, they found a man who had been training pigs how to fly and run really fast for ten years.  But the pigs grew tired of the Nutt who had brought them so much, and he was banished from the Sty.  He, too now, was seeking redemption.  The people from Oxford set up an interview with the pig trainer and asked what he could bring to magical town of Oxford. He stated firmly, "I will throw that fucking pigskin down the throat of the School of Cowbells to the tune of 45-0. I will go to Swamp of Gators and smite the biggest Gator of them all, the one they dare not name but I will. The one they call Tebow."

The athletic director and board of trustees were almost convinced they were still high on crack, but the man had an aura of magic around him and they, albeit reluctantly, gave him the keys to the magic kingdom. And lo and behold if the Nutt did not come through on his promises and them some! He even went to the filthy town of Baton Rouge and stabbed through the black hearts of the hybrid hyena/raccoons! Joy had truly come back to Oxford! And then on the second day of the year 2009 he gathered his knights to go to land of Dallas to wage battle with evil Red Raiders of Texas Tech!

But that is a story for another day......

Merry Christmas to All and to All a Goodnight.

-Steve